Shabbat Shalom!

The majority of this parsha is devoted to discussions of tzoraas, a physical disease brought on by the spiritual "unwellness" of sinful behavior. According to the Torah, tzoraas can manifest itself in a variety of ways: on the skin -- as a leprosy-like disease, on the sinner's garments, or as defects on the walls of the sinner's house.

Interestingly, the sins associated with tzoraas represent a wide range of wrongdoings --- from conceit to idol worship, from derogatory talk to murder, from miserliness to robbery. Why should such a wide range of sins cause the same seemingly terrible disease? Can miserliness really be as serious as robbery? Does the wickedness of conceit truly equal that of idol worship? Surely, on a yardstick of evil, derogatory talk couldn't possibly measure up to murder.

Then there's the issue of the actual disease. Recognizing tzoraas is surely no trivial matter since those suffering are said to be "unclean," must declare themselves as such, and must be separated from the rest of the community until they are cured and cleansed. Not surprisingly, perhaps, the Torah goes into some detail about the condition: tzoraas as it appears in a person who's had a burn, baldness as caused by tzoraas, tzoraas that occupies the area of a healed-over boil, tzoraas as a white patch of skin, tzoraas blemishes on the garments of an infected person. But even with these details, sages and scholars have debated for years over the "symptoms" characterizing the disease. And, after all is said and done, the symptoms (on people, on clothing, on houses) would appear to mimic many types of conditions.

It may be that the broad spectrum of sins and symptoms is exactly the point here. In reality none of us is morally unblemished; during the Days of Awe, we confess that we have "missed the mark" of righteousness through sins -- some seemingly minor, others more troubling and serious. Perhaps the point of this parsha is that sin in any form -- whether great or small, whether against G-d or against other living beings -- weakens and sickens the soul in ways that linger on.

And none of us is physically unblemished either. The physical symptoms of tzoraas -- so similar to those caused by other bodily ailments and defects in our clothes and homes -- serve as a reminder of our shared human susceptibility to sin. Each of us has at least some of those symptoms. They also illustrate, perhaps, the "mind/body" connection between sickness and health so commonly accepted today (i.e., a stressed mind can lead to lowered immune function that can lead to physical illness).

No doubt many of us have memories of sins committed that made us spiritually "unwell." One of mine occurred in my pre-teen years when I invited a group of friends to my house for my birthday. Among them was a girl named Mona. She wasn't one of my "best" friends (even in those days when best friends could change on a weekly basis) and she wasn't the most popular girl in my class (nor was I), but I certainly liked her. Yet, people sometimes made fun of her behind her back. Occasionally I found the cattiness uncomfortable, but I can't say that I didn't sometimes join in on my share of the gossip and laughter.

I don't really know what came over me on this particular day. Perhaps I was looking for greater acceptance from my peers; perhaps I thought I was being funny. In any case, it was towards the end of the party and I believed that Mona had gone. I took that opportunity to say something nasty about Mona. I turned around at that moment and found, of course, that Mona hadn't left after all. I never actually knew, for certain, if she had heard what I had said and I never apologized directly for my actions. Somehow, I must have managed to cover up my words, for we remained friends (although never "best" friends, for sure). But how that happened, I don't recall; the rest of the incident, and that day, has long since faded from my memory. What hasn't faded, however, is the memory of my lingering spiritual "sickness" over the event. I knew I had been cruel and I was ashamed. It's probably the most vivid memory from any birthday of my youth.

As it turns out, the "Mona" incident didn't blossom into a full-fledged case of tzoraas visited upon me; I don't recall any mysterious white skin patches or defects in the family home. But physical symptoms did accompany the memory of that day: a sinking feeling in my stomach, butterflies, blushes -- even some nausea. The fact that I remember those few minutes so clearly (and that my body reacts to the memory) is surely a testament to the power of sin -- even small sins committed by a pre-teen girl.

I've made some peace with my memories of that birthday party long ago -- but I wish I knew where Mona was these days (does anyone out there know a Mona from Brooklyn, circa early 1960's, whose unmarried name began with an "F"?). I'd like to apologize and complete the process of spiritual cleansing and healing.